I want to thank the U.S. Supreme Court for helping me out with this idea that I've been having in my head for years: by deciding that cops don't have to read people's rights on public transportation, the Supreme Court gave me a new twist on what to do with this one:
Chicago Homesick Blues (I) -- to the US Supreme Court
Tune: London Homesick Blues (apologies to Gary P. Nunn)
Well now I know all about
How the City of Big Shoulders
Got that nickname
Did you ever try hauling
A 30-pound piece of luggage
On board the El Train?
Well I have, but otherwise
It's a real fun trip
You can go to the Loop
Or to the zoo
And see the pandas
But the Supreme Court
Says if you're on board
You can forget all about Miranda
I wanna go home with the alligators
Chomp my ass and see ya later
And take my name
To the seven old men and two old women
It's all the same
Me and my luggage
We left O'Hare
On the Blue Line for the North Side
But when I got on
I wanted to run
I got so scared that I cried
Cause all on board
From the men in blue
To the women too
Were you could say muscularly gifted
Then the police said they had to search my bag
I said "Fine, if you can lift it."