If I hear another operatic singer do "God Bless America" one more time, I'm either going to break out into "This Land is Your Land" or smash my guitar on somebody's head.
Please...don't let me go postal...please do a different song...
...or, if you really must hear something patriotic, by all means, go out and find Martin Sexton's version of "America the Beautiful." It's on Martin's CD from a couple of years ago, Black Sheep. It's a capella, and it's as beautiful a version of this song as any I've ever heard, from one of the finest voices of our time. The rest of the CD is great, too.
...and, to the seemingly endless stream of red, white, and...uh, green (as in money—we all gotta do our part to prop up the economy, now) around us here are a few of my thoughts on...
How You Can Whup the Terrorists At Home
An eye for an eye!
A tooth for a tooth!
Today, I sit at home
With one eye on the TV—
I lost the other eye—
But, with my one good eye
I sit and watch the world
Go blind and toothless
Right before my very...eye
And, right before my very...eye...I...
See commercials
Waving flags and saying
"Beat the rush!
Hate Bin Laden early—
And GET YOUR DENTURES NOW!!!!"
(And be sure to buy plenty of stock in PolyDent
While stock prices are still low!)
"And NOW—for a limited time only,
Special ZERO PERCENT financing on SUVs, and on ALL
Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder Seeing-Eye Dogs—
They lost it sniffing through the rubble at the World Trade Center,
But they can still lead the blind!"
Me, I've made up my mind—
I'm gonna go get my
Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder Seeing-Eye Dog now—
While I still have one good eye